Unhappy at work, still
Tuesday, May 17, 2011 @ 2:34 PM

Not just Haw, everyone keeps telling me to work happy, not work for money.

Honestly speaking, I won't be happy at work if my colleagues resign, and yes, all of them are resigning. Ask me what am I waiting for?

It is true that boss taught me things. But hey, I am not happy. Everytime boss comes back with his filthy mouth and that sulking face, scolding all the vulgarity when teaching me, what the fuck is this? Sometimes when he loses his control, he called me mui chee (mui chee bai). What the fuck is this? Can I sometimes lose control can call you jiao lang (penis guy)?

I think it is the personality of the boss that pisses me off. I just don't like it, I call it low-class. Yes, he is very busy, many stress fall on him. But that does not mean he has the right to spread his anger and stress to his staffs. How do you expect me to enjoy working in such company that whenever boss is back, my mood turns rotten. It sucks.


Imagine after this month, I am left with nobody to talk to. New colleagues from different countries who cannot understand the shit I am talking about. I don't know how far I can go. But I told myself to stay for the work, not for the people. I also stay for the money. I don't wanna be a jobless bitch at the age of 22. Isn't that a joke?

Yesterday Haw and I were talking about it again. He said he left his job because he is unhappy. He rather works for a lower pay for a happier mood. He said since I am not happy with boss' attitude, why stay and go to work relunctantly everyday? What's worse is, I don't feel appreciated even though I work till late night everyday.

Only if boss understands one thing, I am not a machine. I have feelings, I have emotions. I don't come here to produce work like a robot, I get hungry and tired too, I need food and rest. It is your problem that you want to starve yourself and get all kinds of stupid illess in your body, but hey, I take health very seriously. I don't work until I get exhausted then go home to sleep with that big shit of stress in my head that causes insomnia.

You know why people wants to knock off on time, 7pm is 7pm? In between 7pm to 10pm, I can relax my mind, do other things that cheer me up, that draw me away from work. Then I can sleep with a happy mood.

I understand that the company is weak now, and I am willing to fight the war for you IF you, as the general, knows how to play with your chess. For your information, chess like us are made of blood, we are not really the chess on the board. Fight this war only if I have a good general that leads well, that appreciate his team, that encourage his team to fight this war. A bad general only knows how to give pressure to his team, THREATEN them to fight the war otherwise they face death sentence. I am sorry but this is how I feel. You ain't a good general. Just by the way you speak to your team, you are simply showing the authority you have as a boss, make us fear that you might scold us or whatsoever fucking nonsense you want to do.

I am waiting for new colleagues to come in, then see if I will be happy working with such team. Seriously, times like this, I wish I work in a retail store as a sale assistant. I had good leaders, motivating and appreciate all the hardworking staffs. I help them willingly, because I am happy working with such leaders.

True that, I am always late, I am not a punctual fellow. But I can assure something, I am a good staff. I back my leaders up because I respect my leaders and they respect me. I feel like part of the family working with the retail team.

What is happening in this design company that I am working now? I step into the office, I feel the unhappiness from the staffs, only my friends greet me "hey you are here!" when I step in. But the rest seems so dead.

Ok, maybe, MAYBE, I don't suit to be a designer. If being a designer = being a bastard that ignores her family, I would rather not be a designer. But well, this is only the first company I tried. If, at anytime I think it is time to leave, I won't give up on design yet. I want to try other company, I am sure there are good teams out there. Good leader, good teamwork.

将军，这步棋，你会不会走？