I miss you like crazy.

I understand what your kiss means, da zhu.

Work has taken a lot of my time. It is supposed to be a 5.5 days work, but I feel like I am working for 6 full days. What 10am to 7pm, 10am to 2pm are all bull shit.

I understand the fact that I am a newbie, I am inexperience and I do not understand much on residential projects.

Time flies, it has been 1 month plus. I start to complain. Why am I working from morning till midnight everyday? Why da faq must I sacrifice my skin, my body figure and my health on work that never ends? I do not believe that all design company works this way. The most they work 1 or 2 hour overtime. But what is happening, midnight everyday. Earliest to go off is 11.30pm. FUCK THAT OFF.


I choose family over work. I felt like a damn bitch to dump all my responsibilities to my boyfriend. Why? Because I have him so I can "misuse" him and take him for granted?

In a relationship, it is two families that count. Let's not take familites into this story, just the two of us, my boyfriend and I. How would you feel if your girlfriend works all day and all night, and you have to help her to do all the house chore, dog duty, every night after your work? I know my boyfriend feels tired. He is not whining but hey, let's be more like a human, is this the way to treat someone who I love and who loves me?
Damn fuck, I might as well be alone. One day when I die, nobody knows.



I won't be happy if my boyfriend works every day and night and he is only paid for the daytime but not the night. I won't be happy if my boyfriend works and neglects his other responsibilities. And what's worse is, neglect me?

I do not like to quit a job easily because to me, a job is like a relationship. I must take care of it and understand it. I can't just shift everything off for a tired reason. I am still raw to this company, not really understand what the faq is going on.



But hey, balance is the point. I believe there is a way to make a balance as long as I have discipline. The problem now is I do not have discipline in my lifestyle.

I want to go to work on time but I always woke up late. Be it the reason that I am used to such sleeping hour, or the reason that I am overworked, therefore I could not wake up.

I want to go for exercise every morning before I go to work. It is possible, I have calculated the time and all. But I just can't wake up.

I want to go off latest by 8.30pm. (Bear in mind that I am only paid till 7pm!!!)
So that I can reach home at 9.45pm then get washed up, sayang my dogs and spend time with people at home, then sleep at 11pm.

Everything just seem impossible if the working system remains! I have A LOT OF SHIT AND THINKING in my mind that I wish I can share but yoz, who knows who da faq is reading this.

Well but I have made a decision in my mind, if my working style is still not good enough to the company, let's just end this shit. I feel very irresponsible as a dog owner, as somebody's daughter, as somebody's 7 years girlfriend. I do not want to be a responsible designer and forget what life is all about.

Crap this, I am having insomnia for this crap shit in my head.
WORK WORK WORK, MY LIFE MY LIFE MY LIFE, POOR BF POOR BF POOR BF, POOR DOGS POOR DAD POOR MUM POOR FRIENDS POOR BODY POOR ME.

F F F F F F F F F F F F F
F for ____.